A Doctorate?

Well, I’ve decided to get a doctorate.  I know I don’t even have a masters degree yet, so this is a big commitment.  I’m doing a little alternative education.  I recently read that it takes 10,000 hours to become a bonafide expert in something.  I figure that if I reach the 10,000 hour mark, I will be deserving of a doctorate.  I’m not sure who will sign my certificate though. 

My courses take place 24 hours a day.  I just have to choose when I’m participating in them.  I did have a clinical a few mornings ago.  It all began when Brent did something that made me mad.  It wasn’t a big deal.  We were having a bit of morning rush and he said something I didn’t agree with.  I felt the spark light in me.  You know what I’m talking about.  The spark that makes you want to be sure you’re opinion is known on the topic.  The typical Heather is quick to point out how what he said was wrong and to then let the anger burn in me for a while.  Then I would say a decent goodbye as he headed off to work but my heart wouldn’t be in it.

That morning was different.  I chose to put in some hours toward becoming an expert.

I nonchalantly went on to our bathroom to get ready.  My heart was beating fast.  I could feel the urge to set things straight pound with my pulse.  I sat down with my head in my hands. I couldn’t find good words so I just asked God to lead me in my thoughts.  I didn’t want to be angry with Brent.  I didn’t want my selfishness to hurt our unity.  I wanted to show him grace. 

Just like a Father who wants to help his child succeed, God flooded my mind with how He forgives me from all the wrong things I say.  He reminded me of His Truth.  Like how I don’t want to be the nag that Proverbs talks about and how my role is to respect my husband and how I need to take the log out of my own eye! 

He tenderly reminded me of His command to love each other as He loves us and to let peace rule in our hearts:

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.  Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.  Colossians 3:12-15

I conceded.  "Yes, I'll let Your peace rule."  And did it ever.  Brent and I had a great start to the day.  I could have been blah and bland. Instead I had a deep peace and joy that made me smile from the inside out.  I sent him off with my love and support.  My selfishness didn't ruin our morning.  That clinical was worth it!

Well, I added an hour or two to my degree audit (do doctorates even have those?) that morning. I’m determined to become a 10,000 hour expert at depending on our God’s guidance.   I sure do have many more hours to put in to become an expert.  And I’m looking forward to the day I habitually err on the side of gratitude, love, truth, and forgiveness in all my relationships!  Why don’t you join me in getting your doctorate too ;)    

This song came on Pandora when I was praying that morning.  Perhaps, it's a little encouragement from our Savior:

The Everyday Stories

Moms of two year olds have great stories.  Every single day has many little comedy sketches sandwiched between dramatic fits, new discoveries, snuggling, and action-adventure.  Every day is a short film.  Each one contains oodles of lessons for each person involved.  I’m beginning to suspect that the real intention behind all this drama is to shape the momma.  (Rhyme not intended J ).  In the midst of our daily plot line Heidi has discovered her inner giggle box.  I think she spends half her day laughing at her brother.  I get the hard job of holding my smile back and imposing much needing direction in his little life. 

Watching that little brain discover new things is a priceless experience.  It makes everything in the world brand new to me too.  He drops to his belly to examine what that was crawling in the grass.  He stops dead in his tracks to yell, “Tweet Tweet” back to a bird.  He doesn’t miss a basketball goal within a mile of his eyesight and yells with pure excitement, “Skook a ball!  Shook a ball!”  Does God make their senses incredibly heightened or do ours get dull?

You may not believe the action-adventure part.  But climbing in window sills, scaling cabinets to get that sacred banana on top of the microwave, and learning to jump off a bed with no fear is heart-racing adventure to this momma!  It makes me cherish the phrase, “I hold ju, mom.”  And stare long at his sweet sleeping face as I rock him. 

Last week our little man came into the kitchen while I was mixing up some chicken salad.  He was naked as a jaybird and proudly flaunting his new found ability to take off his diaper.  He was holding his satin blue blankie with his initials and birthdate monogrammed on it, and sucking his pacifier adorned with the little dragon.  It was a cute picture.  But, I had to be the authority.  “Heath, you can only have your passy when you’re going night night.”  He immediately dropped to the cold wood floor, put the blanket over him, and closed his eyes as tight and forcefully as he could.  I smiled and continued cooking.  A couple seconds later his eyes were open. I said, “Heath give your passy to mommy and you go play.”  With a little giggly chase, he conceded and I put a diaper on him. 

When I look in the mirror of my own life, I wonder if my Father looks at me and knowingly smiles at my immature ways. When do I strut around pridefully flaunting something that really should stay behind closed doors?  It is a battle I have fought.  When I think I’m too important or crucial to some situation, my Father gently reminds me that I’m much safer letting Him be the Important One.  It seems that what I might view as worthy prideful flaunting is really viewed as foolish immature behavior.  I think I could write a book about all the times I thought I was getting it right.  Only to look back with such embarrassment at how immature I was!!!  What humbles me now is to know that I’m sure I'll do it again!

I realize Heath is fully able to get rid of that pacifier.  He’s fought some illnesses this year and we just haven’t put on our game faces and decided to take on the “Breaking of the Pacifier” battle.  I can’t help but reflect on my own life and ponder about what needless little pleasures or crutches I cling to.  What is my Father patiently directing me to get rid of so I can experience more freedom in Him?  What is it that I desperately think I need?  Honestly, I do love my morning coffee and I don’t like to miss my afternoon tea. 

But I can’t help but wonder if perhaps my crutch is something more like wanting approval.  Many of you know that we moms who are home with little people everyday can loose our sense of purpose and get lost in moments of doubting our true value.  Oh the doubts can rage and my insides can crave accomplishments and approval of days gone by.  Sometimes I cling to control or routine thinking those things are the answer to all life’s anomalies.

Truth is all my pride and clinging will leave me on the cold wood floor looking up to Him, needing His direction.

Our loving Father looks on us with His patient gaze and directs to the Truest Life.  It’s true that I’ll always be a work in progress. Yet, the more intimate my relationship grows with Him, the more that work isn’t such a hassle.  It’s a joy.  It’s an adventure.  I grow in gratitude and perspective.  His Word comes to life in my life!  It's all part of the Story.  

The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.

The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.

The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart.

The commands of the Lord are radiant, give light to the eyes.

The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever.

Psalm 19: 7-9