Nothing Stays the Same

Last weekend we went to a beautiful Southern wedding. My cousin was getting married in Charleston. Charleston is rich with tradition and they know how to make weddings memorable. It was a truly beautiful time. However, for such an occasion, a nice dress was required on my part. Our life style has changed in the past five or so years and I no longer dress up very often. I had nothing to wear.

I did try to shop the week ahead of time. Brent was out of town for the week and I shopped with the kiddos. It did not work. Heidi was totally up for it. Heath was not. He would not let me put him three inches away from me without screaming so loud that everyone in the store would have wanted us to leave. What am I talking about? I would have wanted us to leave! Point is-- shopping failed.

Brent got home Friday night and we planned to stop in Cape to grab a dress on our way to the wedding on Saturday. Ladies, can you imagine leaving your house knowing that you MUST find a dress with only 30 minutes of shopping time and that you will have to wear it that night with no other options? Oh, the pressure. We stopped at TJ Max. I had one shot to make it work. Ten dresses in the room. Speed trying them on. Down to two options. Eeeny meeny miny mo. Picked one. (Now, looking at the pictures, it was not a good choice. It really made me look pregnant. So, if you saw the pictures and were wondering… no I’m not).

I rushed out to the car. We were trying to calmly hurry. Buckling in the car seats, we smelled Heath’s dirty diaper. We had an hour to make it to our forty five minute destination. The diaper needed changing and my dress needed changing. Our car has no tented windows and we were in a full parking lot. I begin the “Ol’ Put Clothes on Over Clothes and Pull the Other Ones Off Strategically” method and Brent began changing the very bad diaper in the back on his stain free tan seats. Heath started moving and getting mad, rolling, grabbing (ya know what I mean), things were getting messy. Heidi studied my every move and people walked by noticing what I was doing. Remember, there was a screaming baby drawing attention to our little car. One hundred wipeys later and lots of sweat later, we were done. I was appropriately dressed for a fancy wedding, Heath smelled like baby powder, Heidi earned another notch on her Incredible Big Sister belt, and Brent was breathing deep. We made it through the change. Then, we could enjoy what was to come.

Isn’t change like that. It has to happen to fully experience the “next” part of life. Sometimes we’re thrown into it (the poopy diaper) and sometimes we know it’s coming (the dress). We get to choose how to handle the change. We can avoid the change. Putting off changing that diaper, would have just made things stink for all of us the whole car ride. Not to mention the pain it could have caused Heath if he got a diaper rash from it. I’m wondering if this really is true. That avoiding change causes our lives to ferment, rot, and slowly cause pain to us. Pain we feel when we start moving a little. So, to further avoid the pain, we sit real still. We stay in the routine and do our best to ignore the mess that needs cleaning.

In my life, I think I have most commonly fought the change. I haven’t turned away from it, but by golly, when I get in the middle of it, I have fought against it. So many times, that leads to unnecessary tension and stress. I make it through. But, it’s rough getting there. And, people close to me sure don’t want to go through it with me. They don’t want to become the target of my frustration or deal with me trying to control all the variables. In the book of Daniel, it says that when Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego came out of the fire they didn’t smell like a hint of smoke. For me, I would go through the trial and reek of smoke. I may have made it through (only by God’s grace), but the people closest would know how difficult or scary it was. I would have to fight bitterness. I can just imagine if I would have handled the changes of that Saturday morning that way. The car would be thick with tension and regret. Love and peace would have been squandered and good memories would have been traded for moments desired to be forgotten. That’s what fighting the changed will do. I’ve been a pro at that.

The day I changed into the dress in the compact car in the front seat. I did not fight the change. Brent and Heidi did not fight the change. We embraced it. I took my time. I kept breathing slowly. Even when Brent said, “Oooh no it’s on his hands.” Even, we Heath did the loudest pig squeal sound in the world. Even when Heidi studied each move I made intently as she sat in the driver's seat. (By the way, she has been changing her clothes like that all week now). I smiled at the little ladies walking by as I wiggled my hung arm free.

Our little family chose to embrace the change that day. We laughed as we recalled the funny moments of it. The weather dropped 15 degrees that day and skies filled with clouds before the rain as we drove to Charleston. Yet, our hearts really were warmed by the peace of embracing the trials and brightened with laughter, music, and napping children. That would not have happened had I fought the change! I know we’ll not handle every situation like this. Actually, we’ll get it wrong more than we get it right. But once, we’ve tasted the beauty of embracing the changes in our lives, we’ll never want to avoid them or fight them again.

God created humans and everything else in our world to change. Nothing stays the same. Change always has a great purpose in life. Change comes in many different forms. Health. Income. Relationships. Ways of thinking. Disasters. New life. Choices. The process of change can happen in moments or over years. Either way change does happen. I want to pay attention to the changes going on around me everyday and embrace the moments and be transformed into a new person. I want to let what seems like bad change to grow me into a more thankful person who sees things deeper than the surface. I want to soak up this change thing and live with the peace and joy that comes from connecting with our God.

Nothing stays the same. My baby girl is now five and asks questions about life. My baby boy is now almost a year old and in one week’s time he went from a crawler to a walker. After a long winter, the Oak tree out the window is thick with green leaves. I look at my hands and already see the sun’s aging on them. Last week an evil leader was alive, now he is dead. I read old journals and smile at my old thoughts. Will I do the same ten years from now? Nothing stays the same.

One of my top ten favorite songs of life. I hope it is played at my funeral!