That Ol' Tortoise

The tortoise and the hare keep making an appearance in my life!  God must be telling me something.  Heath is currently intrigued daily by a Mother Goose version of the story with a tortoise named Leonard and a hare named Skip.  For the moment, he is less fond of the LeapFrog version (It is so odd!  They fit the entire alphabet in… there’s a zebra, an umbrella, a city, and all kinds of other out of place things!)

I recently heard the quote, “We overestimate what we can accomplish in 5 weeks and underestimate what we can accomplish in 5 years.”  Isn’t that so true! 

Ol' Leonard understood that idea. He just kept going one slow step at a time.  One next right step after another.  It had to feel so defeating to watch others zoom right by.  And, when the wind was cold and the hills were steep, it had to be really hard for him to take that next right step. 

Last week I started to get overwhelmed.  I let my mind race and run with all the things that need to get done.  I dreamed of Pinterest things to do to our house.  I felt defeated after reading blogs of creative things moms did with their kids during the snow days.  I diagnosed half the world’s problems after reading journal articles for my class.  And when one of those “out of nowhere” problems popped up, I was a mess. 

Friday night, I laid my head down whispering to God.  “I feel like I’m drowning.”  I knew that none of this was crisis level stuff.  I was just off and my focus was wrong.  I closed my eyes and couldn’t see my way back.  I whispered it again.  Drowning. 

Saturday morning I opened up my little quiet time book.  On that very day the words were so perfect, “When you feel yourself sinking in the circumstances…”  The Scripture with it was the story of Peter walking on the water to Jesus. 

Peter stepped out of the boat in faith during a storm to be closer to Jesus.  I could relate.  When Peter looked away from Jesus, he saw the waves and he began to sink.  He cried out to Jesus to save him.   I got it.  I had been looking at the waves.  My focus was not where it should have been.  I was drowning.  Without His perspective, I only sink.  Trusting Him as I take one step after the other is the only way to truly go through the storm.    

That night, I got out my lesson for GoKids the next morning.  You’re not going to believe me, but it was the story of Peter walking on water.  It was all about trusting God. 

So, that ol’ tortoise has got it right.  One diligent, purposeful step after another.  Who knows where he’ll be in five years!   

Warm Pipes

It was 10:00 pm on the night we moved into our sweet new home.  It was the grand finale of a 30-day total house repair/remodel.  Brent and I were functioning on less-than-adequate amounts of sleep at that point.  Yes, we did pull all-nighters to hang new drywall and sand all the wood floors.  I went to brush my teeth in the brand spanking new vanity.  I turned the hot water on.  It sputtered and gasped.  I turned the cold water on.  It trickled.

It was a wopping 2 degrees outside.  I tried the tub.  Then the kitchen sink.  No luck.  I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe knowing I had to tell my worn out husband. 

Like a pro (or, rather an amazing man of faith and determination) he bundled up, got the blow dryer and headed to the crawl space.  He had plans of blow drying the pipes to unfreeze them.  I had the faucets on and ready for the water to gush.

10:30… 11:15…

I laid in bed recounting the past blur of a month.  The stories of God’s goodness and incredible blessings through this process were overwhelming.  

We set out with the mindset of viewing this house repair and remodel as an intense time of spiritual growth -- A mission trip of sorts.  We knew that there were much more important things going on in the world than the remodel of our new home.  We knew that people were starving and losing their jobs and facing illness and death.  

We didn’t, for one second, want to get so self-absorbed that we lost sight of what real problems are in life.  God had blessed us with this house and we wanted to see each hurdle as an opportunity not a problem.  We hoped this house would be a journey for us to hear God’s voice and obey Him in the small things.  We hoped to grow closer as a couple and as a family.  To be more grateful and to trust God with all things.

11:45… 12:15...

A little panic started to settle in.  Or was it fear and anger?  I wondered what would happen if the pipes burst.  And, I hated for Brent to have to keep working so hard on such little energy.  Would we have the money to fix this one?  Why was God allowing such a big problem like this now once we’ve moved in?  And, could anything just go smoothly?

Then, He whispered to me deep in my spirit.  Trust. I remembered.  He always provided.  All the days of my life, He has never left and never failed.  All hard things have only led me closer to Him and to understanding how He works in the world.  And, yes at that moment the rest of the world’s problems were still raging.  And God is a God of relationship and restoration and redemption.  Yes, this water problem was meant to draw us to Him.  Not to fret or control.  But to Trust.

I figured Brent was having his own “moment” under the house.

12:39…

The water came bursting in the tub and sink.  Relief washed over me and I went to meet Brent in the kitchen.  He'd been under there with the blow dryer for two and half hours.  He was bundled.  I was thankful.

Slow and calmly Brent said, “The water was turned off.  The valve was off."

Nope, the pipes weren’t frozen at all.  At some point in all of our repairs and leak fixes here and there, the main valve was still shut off.  But we sure did have a heart to heart with God and some warm pipes that night.

Do You Realize?

We recently went to the Museum of Transportation in St. Louis.  We had a great time.  It's a must-do if you have kids and live close enough.  We were most impressed with touring the old train engines and passenger cars.

I was amazed by how massive the engines were.  They were so huge that they felt fake.  Some of them had wheels larger than 6 feet tall.  Inside, we got to sit in the conductor's chair and see what driving the massive thing was like.  It looked like such a difficult, pressure filled job --only tiny windows to see ahead, the many levers and knobs, and the firebox inches away.

I wondered if the once-upon-a-time conductors knew their impact on the world.  Did they know they were literally leading the way to changing our country and even the world forever?  In their day in and day out hard work, did they realize they were revolutionizing life as they knew it?  Did they know that generations of tiny men-children (aka little boys) would pretend to be just like them?

I have missed out on the importance of those day in and day out things. What about you?

We tend to look only for the big leaps of faith.  We measure our lives by the immediate impact of our decisions.  Often, we only see the people in the world who are easily noticed and are making the most obvious impact.  We have a streak of jealousy that rears it's ugly head.  We fight feeling guilty for "failing" when compared to others.  We can't stand the thought of living a life that doesn't count in some way!

Well, I'm learning a whole lot from people like the old-time conductors.  It seems that many times the people with the biggest impact are behind the scenes doing the hard work day in and day out.  It can be such hard work.  It can take tremendous perseverance and self-sacrifice.  I write these words, hoping to encourage you.  If you are feeling like a failure or wondering what your impact really is, take heart!  

The everyday, unnoticed things you do truly are making a difference.  Living a life filled with His Love will literally lead the way to changing our world forever.  In your day in and day out hard- Love work, you are revolutionizing life as you know it.  Do you know that generations of tiny people (you know what I mean) will pretend to be just like you?  You are leaving a legacy.

"Trust Me, I Can Do This"

Do you remember what it felt like when you mastered riding a bike?  The freedom was exhilerating.  Soaring down hills was the biggest adrenaline rush of the pre-teen days.  And, remember the nano-seconds just before the crashes when you knew the pain was coming?  Yeah, we can all still show some scars from those accidents.

I have a few memories of riding uphill or against the wind when I truly did not think I would make it home.  My thighs were practically numb and my knees burned.  Tears would well up and I would get that hot feeling that made me just want to quit.  Somehow, I always made it home.

Heidi recently learned to ride her bike.  Her daddy being so patient and gentle coupled with her determintion has been so cool to watch.  I have learned many lessons by observing the process!  So, now Heidi is experiencing that freedom and exhileration that we all did as kids.

Last week we went on a bike ride.  I rode behind soaking up the moment.  Brent was leaking that joyful pride watching Heidi soar.  I imagined God feeling that same way about us. 

Our sweet little town doesn't have a single level surface in it.  Yes, I'm exaggerating... but, only barely!  So most of our ride was downhill.  I warned Heidi that the further we got from home, the harder it would be to make it back.  She was fully convinced she would be able to do it.  

The sun began to settle behind Shepherd Mountain and we turned home.  Thus began our uphill journey.  Heidi began moving slower and slower.  She would stop and rest her legs a bit.  At one point her daddy, who was carrying her little brother on the carrier seat, said, "Come right here by me and I'll pull you."  Heidi puffed up with a burst of energy and went right by him, doing her best to prove she didn't need help.  Seconds later she stopped.  She put one leg on the peddle and tried again. And again.  She couldn't even get the bike to move an inch now. 

Her daddy gently said, "Walk over here to me and I'll pull you."  She conceded.  

He tightly grabbed her handle bars.  He began peddling.  She fearfully pulled away causing her to wobble and nearly crash.  He said, "Trust me Heidi, I can do this.  I am strong enough.  You have to let me do it."  

I marveled at this daddy hauling two children uphill balancing them.  I watched Heidi relax and let him carry her.

I am like that.  Sometimes, I need to stop my striving and let Him carry me.  Let Him breathe life and restore me.  Draw close to Him.  Submit to His strength and provision.  Yes, we'll soar again and He'll be close delighting in us, teaching us, guiding us all the way.  

The Lord your God is with you,

he is mighty to save. 

He will take great delight in you,

he will quiet you with his love,

he will rejoice over you with singing.

Zephaniah 3:17

What Else Do We Have to Do Here?

"What else do we have to do while we’re here?"  It was so profound when he said that to me.  I said it over and over to myself, “What else do we have to do while we’re here?”

I was wrestling with the grip love has on me.  I held our breathtakingly beautiful girl before she fell asleep and tears of love welled up because that gut wrenching love overtook me.

I think of this momma I know.  Her son has a mental illness and she gives every ounce of herself to him.  To the naked eye her love isn’t returned.  She once said to me, “We can never know how our children’s lives will turn out.  We do our best and we love them.”  And tonight she is poured out and she loves him.   

Loving people hurts.  Sacrificially loving people hurts worse.  I mean really giving of myself  or being vulnerable with someone… then to risk losing them or them not reciprocating... that hurts.  Might it be best to just avoid that whole type of love?  Keep up masks, seek self pleasure, walk away when my toes are stepped on.   

In my journey to loving God wholeheartedly, I didn’t expect that as He grips me more, everyone else would do the same.  Truly loving Him inevitably means we will love all people more.  The essence of that gripping love invades all areas.

I wrestle.  I say outloud, “It’s just so hard… this type of love hurts, because… they could be gone tomorrow.”

Brent says simply and and so right, “What else do we have to do while we’re here?”

Yes, what else do we have to do but LOVE. 

We can chase the counterfeit fillers of being known, or doing stuff, or getting stuff.  I’ve learned that those are empty highs.  This Love thing is different.  He made it that way.

That’s what Jesus did.  He says giving is better than receiving.  That laying down our life is the way to find life.  That our highest points of life are our most humbled times.  He was our example of giving ourselves for the sake of love.

When life gets confusing, stressful, or painful, let’s be reminded that all we really have to do while we’re here is love God and each other.  Pretty simple.

That Ol' Oak Leaf

This morning I watched a leave float on the wind.  It was bit peculiar.  I was out in the middle of a field-like area and the trees were not close by.  There was a gentle breeze and the clouds were clearing to usher in the full sunlight.  

I'm not real good with distance, but I would say the leaf was three stories up in the air.  All alone.  It was taking a marvelous flight.  It was floating on the wind.  Swirling, twirling, flipping and swooping low then high.  

It was just an average leaf.  It was a brown dried Oak leaf.  There are many around just like it.  Yet this one was different.  

It was completely caught up in the wind and taken on an adventure.  

No eyes other than mine and it's Creator saw that leaf dance this morning. 

I am like that average ol' Oak leaf.  I bet you are too.  My desire is to let loose and soar like that.  To trust God completely.  To close my eyes and let the eyes of faith be my sight.  I smile with a sweet peace knowing that my Creator is my only audience.  Perhaps a passer by will catch a glimpse and see His glory in the soaring adventure He carries us on.  Perhaps they too will be inspired to let loose and place their trust in Him.  

 

  

This Summer

 "He is before all things and in Him all things hold together."

Colossians 1:17

The Laundry Room.  This scene startled me.  I was instantly reminded that Jesus is with me in the most mundane tasks.  Even laundry is Holy when I bow myself to Him and do it out of love for my family.  Yes, He is before all things and in Him all things hold together.

Our Bedroom Dresser.  In the early morning the sun came in under the trees and cast  His Cross on our dresser.  We wake with the reminder that dying to our selfish desires and material longings is the only way to truly carry His Love.  Yes,  He is before all things and in Him all things hold together.

Our Bedroom Door.  Before I enter the world, it's there again.   Entering through the cross is the only way to really live. Remembering His love for me...for the world as I step out.  Yes, He is before all things and in Him all things hold together.

Our Bathroom.  Hands of a strong father laid the stone floor of our bathroom.  He was bent low with a sweating brow.  He kneeled.  He scraped grout over all the crosses.  Over and over he made crosses while he was bent low giving himself.  He has lived the Love our Jesus.  Yes,  He is before all things and in Him all things hold together.

The Cathedral Basilica in St. Louis.  More than 80,000 tiles adorn this buidling making up one of the most extensive mosaics in the world.  From the ground, we look up and are reminded of His Cross, His Sacrifice for our sakes.  The grace and beauty of it all paralyzes me.  His Love... I don't deserve.  Yes, He is before all things and holds all things together.

The Cathedral Basilica in St. Louis.  The One and Only who took the cross for us.  He showed us the way to really live. Yes, He is before all things and in Him all things hold together.

Backyard in a Mess.  Isn't this just as beautiful as the cathedral.  His cross changes  our vision.  Through Him, all things  are being made new.  He changes the mess to beauty.  This messy life is only made right through Him.  I smile at the fun my children have had in there home and pray that they are filled with joy and peace.  I pray that I am a living example of Christ to them.  I pray that I lay down myself for my husband, my children, and the church.  Yes, He is before all things and in Him all things hold together. 

 And, isn't He doing the same in your life?  He's holding us all together.

Check out this short (incredible... trust me it is) video: