The Crop Duster

“Mom! Look! That airplane is 3 inches from my window!” Hmmm, I think 5 year old Heidi may already have inherited the “exaggeration gene.” But, to give her credit, the bright yellow crop duster did look pretty darn close to us. At one point he flew parallel with us, right outside of Heidi’s window. And, I must admit that he looked like he was going to use the road we were on as a landing strip and I did hold my breath for a few seconds.

Tuesday morning I woke up with the itch to go. I get that way every now and then. Instead of running off to far away places and spending too much money, I have learned to make those itches productive. I was needing a visit with my sweet sweet grandma, the church needed cases of water from Sam’s and Heidi was up for a piano lesson from her MiMi. So, I was up for an adventure… me taking the kids to Cape and Sikeston for a day visit.

Sometimes that sudden desire to go is totally healthy. Sometimes it’s more like running away. I’m wondering if Tuesday was one of those run away days. At church we’re doing a series based on a book by John Ortberg called The Me I Want to Be. Essentially, it is about becoming the person God truly designed each one of us to be. Unique. Creative. Beautiful. Passionate. Youier. If we ever get there, it will be on purpose!

This week we’ve focused on our thinking. Over and over the Bible talks about our thinking. Check out a few snipits:
“Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” Romans 12:2
“Search me, Oh God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thought.” Psalm 139:23
“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” Isaiah 26:3

So, Tuesday morning I woke up recalling a very vivid dream. It made me sad. It brought back issues I have already dealt with and stirred up old insecurities. It was one of those that gets ya no where when you try to think through it. You just end up right back where you started. Ya know one that can waste a whole day’s thoughts if you’re not careful.

As we drove, the kids kept me totally occupied. Heidi and I sang. Heath slept, ate snacks, and played. But, when we were almost there, everything was quiet for a while and my brain was free to reflect. I knew that I didn’t need to rehearse the thoughts of that dream. So, I decided to take God up on His Word. In my heart, I said, “Ok, God I want my thoughts fixed on You. You will be my Perfect Peace.” Then, I realized that meditating on that dream was so familiar and I wanted to keep thinking about it. But, I chose to tell God that and recalled that His Word says to think about the things that are true, right, and lovely. Before I finished the thought, the bright yellow plane swooped over us. In my opinion, he almost took out the power line.

Heidi livened up and we were captivated by that crazy little plane. Once we passed the rodeo grounds and he was a spec in the rearview mirror, I realized that that plane was totally a gift from God. He sent it at just the right moment to rescue me from my thoughts. I could do nothing else but thank Him deep in my soul. In my gut, I sensed God saying, “Baby, it’s all about your heart. You trust me and I will never fail.”

Ortberg explains, “The adult brain is amazingly changeable – it has neuroplasticity. Which synapsis remain and which ones whither away depend on your mental habits. Those that carry no traffic go out of business like bus routes with no customers. Those that are heavily trafficked get stronger and thicker. The mind shapes the brain.” I’m on my way to forming some new routes of thinking.

“Lead me in Your truth, teach me, for You are the God who saves. All day long, I put my hope in You.” Psalm 25:5. Did I hear a Woot Woot after that one!

Robin Hood

Aren't we people just fascinating? I love how we are all so different and unique. I know there is the ongoing debate of how and why we act the way we do... are we shaped most by our environment or our genetics? I don't really care to enter in to the debate. However, I do enjoy hearing people's stories and understanding how their pasts have lined up to make them into the person they are.

As a girl, I wasn't really into the whole princess thing, or the wedding thing, or even the mommy thing. I wasn't really into much "girl" stuff. I have always wondered why. Of course, it is probably part of my disposition. But, I think there were other things that influenced me.

Recently, Brent and I stayed up way too late watching the newest Robin Hood. It was one of those that is totally worth a worn out day the next day. As a child, I was brainwashed by the Disney version of Robin Hood. Don’t you remember the ten minute introduction with Friar Tuck whistling and the characters marching across the screen? I guess I didn’t have any other VHS tapes or something, because that is the only movie I remember watching.

Well, after watching the newest one, I dreamed about it all night. I was a character in the movie and I was fighting for the freedom of the people who couldn’t. I woke up that morning with that movie whirling through my mind. Later I realized that I always love the epic good vs. evil stories. And, I think, it just might be from my love for the cartoon Robin Hood that was in me from such a young age. There’s just something about that brave central character who risks everything to save people. And, how they triumph through all the trials and persevere. Is it a surprise that the first Bible verse I ever remember memorizing is James 1:2 “Consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds for the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” Now, what 8^th grade girl loves a verse like that? One, who grew up on Robin Hood!

In writing this post, I wanted to be sure I was authentic. I really scoured my brain to decide which movies are my true favorites. Here are some: I Am Legend, Seven Pounds, One Night with the King, Amazing Grace, Braveheart, and Lord of the Rings. In each one, that brave character perseveres for the better of those around him/her.

It’s clear that deep inside, I do have a dream to be that person. I want to be that for my husband and my children. I’m learning that the only way to be the brave character is the let the words of this verse transform me; “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourself, not looking to your own interests but to the interests of others. In your relationships, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 2:3-5) I also want to be that hero to my friends and the people God’s puts in my path everyday. I’m finding that the joy and peace that are found in putting them first, is truly incomparable to any selfish ambition I have ever sought.

I have one last thought to share with you about that brave central character. The One who is the creator of story is that character. He put it in our hearts to be drawn to good vs. evil. From the beginning, He knew that Good would live a life of sacrifice for His people and pay the ultimate cost for our freedom. Now, all we have to do is trust Him and let Him do the work in us, freeing us from the bondage. As William Wallace said, “FREEDOM!”

"My chains are gone; I've been set free, My God my Savior has ransomed me."

Brothers and Sisters

I had planned to share a funny story with you today. However, it is Valentine's Day. I figure some thoughts on love are appropriate.

My older brother, Davey, tells a story about how he used to convince me trade him my dollars for his three quarters. Supposedly, I thought I was really getting a good deal. I just remember learning WWF moves from him and looking for the green eyed ghost he promised lived in the attic of Nanny's house.

I had a bit of an odd sibling situation growing up. I was raised as an only child on and off yet I have one brother and three sisters. I share a mom with two of them and a dad with two of them. Needless to say, none of us have a typical sibling relationship. Here's the crazy thing... sometimes, I am so stinkin' overwhelmed with love for each of them. Something will strike a heart string and all I can do is feel that love. Sometimes, I am moved to tears, sometimes to joy, and sometimes to prayer. All I know is that God has put a crazy love in my heart for them.

Now, I can't really imagine what it is like for those of you who have siblings who were raised together. You guys know each other inside and out. Some of you do the same habits and ticks and talk alike and even look alike. Some of you are so opposite and drive each other crazy. Many of you have gone through great times and hard times together. I'm sure you can't imagine what life would be like without your siblings. I bring all that up because, you must also have a crazy love for your siblings.

Have you ever watched a brother and sister love each other? It is one of the most special things in the world. A few weeks ago, I was in my room rushing to put some makeup on. I had Heath in his high chair. I asked Heidi to give him his bottle while I got ready. Within moments, Heidi began to laugh the purest belly laugh. It was so loud and boisterous... glee. I peaked around the corner to see what was going on. She was laughing at Heath. She said that he was squirting his milk. I went back into my room and just soaked up the beautiful sound of her laughing with her baby brother. The world stopped for a moment. I thought about how they will argue one day and I want to remember that day, the day they made each other so happy. I though about how Heidi has loved her new brother from day one and has chosen to never be jealous of him. She loves him so deeply. And, he stops what he is doing if he hears her voice and heads to find her. When she bounces in the room, he smiles with true delight. He loves her with all the love he has to give. Seeing my children love each other, brings a deep sense of pleasure and joy to my heart.

I have a hunch the sibling relationship is close to the heart of God. I believe He set it up to reflect the way our world is supposed to be... the way He intends us to love each other. We are His children. In John 13:34-35 Jesus says to His followers, "Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." God's heart is flooded with joy when we love each other. Ya know, He never askes anything of us that isn't good for us in the long run. If we choose to take Him up on this and love the people around us, we too will find that deep sense of pleasure... the moment when everything in the world is right. So today, let's do some little things to love our "brothers and sisters."

Why Dive?

Isn't diving an incredible feeling? I think of the days when I first learned to dive. Don't you remember smacking your face on the water? Or, crippling with fear right before you went in only to cause you to to a belly flop or some other quirky move? After some practice, you got your head tucked and your arms nicely pointed and leading the way in. I remember how the cold water would always shock my senses and then, I was completely caught up in something other than myself -- surrounded by water. I have always found the water to be a freeing place.

I was on the swim team for years. I can still see the morning sun reflecting on the bottom of the city pool (Which is now torn down. Does that mean I'm getting old?). It totally captivated my attention. I can still imagine watching the wake my hands would make when gliding during breast stroke. And, doing "aquaman" (swimming like a dolphin underwater) to help get the rhythm of butterfly and build endurance... that was the highlight of practice! I still love doing that.

When I'm under the water, I'm in another world. A world where I am not in control of anything around me. I've grown to love rivers and oceans even more than pools. Have you ever swam against the current? We can't make it too far can we? Ya know, in a strong current we can swim as hard as we can and not even move. What about out in the ocean? Have you ever gotten way out there then, get a little freaked out to be carried up the coast a ways? And, fighting it gets you no where. Water is powerful. To be carried by a force that is so much greater than me, a force I can not change, is freeing!

What about when you're at the river or the ocean and you put your goggles on. There's so much more going on underneath that we would never see if we didn't look! I remember seeing a little jellyfish float right under me. Have you seen a school of those small shiny silver fish cutting back and forth following the current? And, one time I found a bed of sand dollars. How could I forget the sunglasses and five dollar bill at the river! Needless to say, every time I put goggles on and look underneath, I see something cool that I would never see from above the water.

I believe everything in life is a parallel, in some way, to our relationship with God. I can think I'm in control but, I really am not. He is. And when I let go, I'm free! Then, when I stop to look deeper at what's going on, I find treasures everywhere.

Just think, none of it happens without the dive. God is good!

Thanks for reading. You're invited back anytime to read some stories and perspective from my life.